Monday, 27 February 2012

Idea Of Writing

I never thought that I can really work so hard updating my 2nd blog.
The first blog was been published in year 2009.  but successfully deleted few hours ago.

I feel nothing at this moment. As the previous blog that I have is only cost a crap post,  but who knows, one day I might be regret with what I've done today.
Permenantly delete. All I know right now, even if i feel bad about this later, its only for temporary.

Because there is so much more things that cost my sadness now.

i wish someone will understand it

Second Thought

I wanna make mylife as pretty as possible...although its on HIS hands, we can always wish the best in everything rite.

He is considered as my Ex.

Am I really saying it from my heart...or it just something else? I think I almost have a heart attack.
Yesterday, while I took my long drive way back from UIA Gombak to tears dropped.
continuously. starts from UIAM exit heading to Sg. Besi.

I miss him.
I miss him so much.

But I know, this is going nowhere.
someone said to me, if it's so hard for you to share about your feelings to others or not...then cry.
world might not understand about what you feel, but you..yes, yourself do.

Then, Cry.
With no doubt.

Today, after almost a month, he texted me.
a simple message that leave me with...
I dont know.

I really dont know my feelings right now.

Did he miss me as much as i miss him?
No. You're not miss just miss all the routines that you and him played over 6years.
That's it.

Give your ownself a chance and make a change
As been decided earlier.
can anyone answer me this ='(


Im not feeling well. as I noticed early in the morning that i have a flamming throat.

Monday blues + sorethroat = No good


Friday, 24 February 2012

Wise Words: They Can Because They Think They Can

I can because I think I can.
Yes, I really do I can.

Even it cost a huge efforts, obstacles, hardships journey, I can achieve what ever I want.
Either this journey will end with victory or being defeat, myself is the only one who can decide it.

Wishing myself a very good luck ahead!

Family, Study, Career and more to come.

Have my word ha!

Away To UIA Every Weekend

As mentioned on my previous post, new semester are about to take place. All my undertaking subjects for current semester scheduled to be held at Kulliyyah ICT, UIA.

Its going to be a great experience.

my turbulence adrenalin
Update soon!

Men Are So Predictable!

I woke up early in the morning last sunday. There is no plan for that day.  As the morning breeze was so refreshing...suddenly the idea of having a leisure walk around the nearby park pop up into my mind.
Thinking that I've done nothing to physical activity for several months, then why not. Besides, there is a lake there. complete therapy.

Get ready within 5mins. Go downstairs. Breath the air.  What a very blast start.

From leisure walk then it turns to slow jog.  All the way to the park, I saw bunch of kids...walking to the park...I saw nanny-aged women and his husband probably, also walking to the one by one person passing by me also heading to the park...I guess, this is not only a blast day for me..its everyone blast day.

Reaching the park was so amazing.  As I captured many people are enjoying their fitness session there.  The air was breezing...the park that surrounded by a number of fitness apparatus here and there...and then there is a lake..the greenery scene by the trees...blooming morning kiss flowers...isnt it remarkable?
I never thought that the nearby park which is located only less then 5mins from my home actually holding its own attractions that can only be describes once you reach there.

I couldnt remember how many rounds that I made during my slow jog..raftly it could be around 4-5 rounds..its been really enjoying to do it. Cardio session was great...and the sweat also great...(should i need to mention it?) I did use all the apparatus that been provided..its my first time ever...and left me craving it for more. Nextime.

Now, there is a man.  Couldnt describe him much as I only noticed him after several rounds of my slow jog. Making a step towards my cooling down, then suddenly he came...approach me with a light conversation..more to exercise..make it as daily routine..maintaining body fitnes..gym...bla..bla..bla..

and he did told me about his siblings,
should it has to be that far?

No wonder I felt something each time he pass me.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Lesson #1: Get Yourself Busy

My positive mind keeps telling me that this is only phase of ones life.  Every bad or good things happened is just to ensure we are actually going the right path towards mature life. Life will never be easy.  Otherwise, nobody will appreciate it..right?

I'm holding it tight.  So, this is something that everyone need to go through and have the experience even it hurt so bad. unfortunately.

At least, I make myself better than yesterday and prepare for tomorrow. To let my past slowly dissolve by the air of sober, I get myself busy as I could.  I learn something from it.  I feel like my adrenalin are working so great and I'm using myself at the optimum level for every task I've carried.

9-10 hours per day - I'm performing my best for every weekdays. Don't really love my job, but at this point, its actually help me a lot..More than enough.  Even I don't really like to stay under the roof...doing same all routine. This is very cozy and comfort. I need air! means I need to go out. But one step at the time.  This will definitely going to be one of the things that I need to review it back.  Career planning.

My semester break is coming to the end.  This week will be my last week to get my self fully-charged.  The following weekends onwards till August will be full by my 5th semester. I'm doing pretty excellent so far as I managed to get my name under the Dean's List.

I must say it as Grand Opening 2012.
~ big kiss and hugs! (to myself) ~

I work so hard last year for my study as I keep reminding myself that the only way for you to change your life is knowledge.  Let people address you as knowledgeable person and stop acting like a loser. You are the one who need to take that responsible.

I'm kinda retarted during exam weeks..I wish I can do much better for this semester..Something that I won't deny is, I'm just acting smart for the 1st year..indeed I'm struggling to be smart on that time.

yes, the busy months are back again for me.
and yes, this prescriptions will definitely cure me.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Wise Words: Door Of Happiness

" When One door of happiness closes, another opens, but...often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the One that has been opened for us "

At this moment, I choose this one.  Close to my heart.  Very-very close indeed. I made a mistake..that lock a misery in my life. I try to get up. Fix everything that falls apart.

The first step I made is the hardest part.
Kill my other half.
It has to be done.
And I should do it long time ago before it turn to be today.
In the name of Love and Trust, I stand still and believe there is always a way for us to get thru this...

But I don't know why..this time is really hard for us to make a come back.

I'm shutting everything about it one by one..
and I know time will heal me even it cost me a thousand of years.

One door close, another will open.

Love The Man That Love You Not Love The Man That You Love

Love is so describable.
Some will say it as bloom as the morning kiss, as red as roses, as deep in the sea, as high as blue sky,as beauty like nature, as chocolate to the kids, as lyrics to the rythm, as it may compliment many parts of everything.
some will say reverse of it. as hard as dying, as tears for every words, as sharp as axe, as fragile like a glass, as soil without plants, as empty like coffin, as everything that may seems life is so bad. love is so irritating.

I love to say all the time that Love is blooming where ever we go. Love to the family..never fades.  Love by the Maker last forever. But everyone will keep fighting to gain love for their life..including me.

some shared a different is worth to fight if it meant to be ours...but then, on my second thought, how are we going to know that the love we're fighthing is the one for us?

Wise friend of mine ever told to me that we need to find someone in our life. To share and to give. To love and to be love.  The aim of life is one of this. If we ever live with someone that almost impossible for us to happy with the shared life, then what is the point of keep hoping for it? Love is not with whom we fall in, but love is who we are when we with him/her.

I love the man that I love which we are no longer feel the blooming of our love..not the man that love me which really fight for my happiness with him.
how hard can it be??

But all I know at this moment is..

Love Never Fails

2 Different Books Vs Myself

My past it not my concern anymore.
I wish I can say it one fine day. Trying so hard to build again the dreams of my life..but this time around, I want to make it as reality. I know it is time consuming and I can't force the nature of it.  But at least..I wanna try.  Boost up the speed of letting go my past.

2 Books are my besties now. Bought it last year, but didnt have a chance to finish it. Yes, because of the thousand commitments that I signed.  Classes to attend, assignments to submit, exams to sit, working hours, daily self and housework routine, family affairs..bla..bla..bla..24/7.
With that, I managed to read just several chapters..chapter 3 out of 10. It is only several sheets from the cover. Same goes to the other one.

I know that I bought a very great books.
Reading makes my soul full..Piece of peace that I need to award it to myself regularly now.

Forgiveness: How To Make Peace With Your Past And Get On With Your Life

Climbing Out Of Depression

See, I have told you.
I actually own a very great books. Promise to heal myself and get motivate by it because I am a walking wound now.
So pathatic.

Will share it from time to time.

Monday, 13 February 2012

Poem by Poet

 "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."

Yes. so seriusly.
to become a poet is sudden role that everyone will have a fair chance to it.

but me..
Im just hanging here. trying to hook myself to nowhere.
looking back very hard, it might be something good that been promised by Allah to me..

The time will come. Just believe.

yes, I will keep on hoping!

1st Step For All

Its been over a month.  keep thinking of having a new blog. finally..with the glimps of bless, it lead me here.

the ups and downs in ones life, should be imprint at the best space as it could..and I choose to blog it.
Life is so interesting. Fantastic..but the power of life able to torn everything that mankind ever created.
By quoting the mankind, I never heard that mankind will never survive.


As this post launch, I will always remember that I am taking my first step for all.
May Allah always be with me.